How to Annoy the Crap out of Your Sales Manager

Sales managers have it made.  They don’t work.  Go ahead and ask them. They’ll say, “I manage sales.” What does that mean?

All they have to do is be a pain in the butt to the sales guys who really do all the heavy lifting.  Here are some great tips to make sure that your sales manager never forgets that you can make her life miserable whenever you feel like it.

Surprise them with under-performance

Sales managers hate surprises, so if there’s a problem on the horizon, just keep it to yourself.  You know you’re annual quota wasn’t reasonable in the first place, so you know you aren’t going to hit it.  It’s crazy for them to think you’d even try.  If you’re having a problem with an account, that’s just the natural byproduct of the unreasonable expectations that you’re having to deal with.  Sharing risks and concerns with your sales manager will only shine a brighter light on stuff that will get you in trouble.  Keep as much information as you can under wraps, especially the bad stuff.

Ignore the CRM application

Seriously, haven’t you just about had it with all this focus on capturing information so the organization can be more effective?  You’re no data entry clerk, you’re a sales professional!  You can keep all the information you need in your head and if somebody else needs to know something then all they have to do is ask.  Besides, CRMs are hard to learn and provide visibility to your activities and progress.  Who wants that?  Not you, that’s who.

Don’t worry about reporting

Paperwork is for desk jockies, not sales studs like you.  Why go to trouble of filling out reports when the information is just going to change next week?  Sales managers have no business sticking their nose into your routine.  They’re supposed to manage sales, not ride you about doing your job. Tell them only what they need to know, and if you must complete reports be sure to make them as vague and self-serving as possible.

Account plans?  Forget about ‘em

You don’t think that sales managers really do anything with all the account plans they expect you to fill out, do you?  These things are a pain, and you know you’re not going to follow the plan you lay out, anyway.  So why bother?  If you absolutely must complete sales plans there’s no need to actually do any competitive analysis or actually think about how you could better penetrate the account.  Just make some stuff up and fill it in.  Nobody knows the account better than you do, anyway.  Who will ever know?

Trust me, these work.

Business is tough.  Hang in.  If we can help you, just let us know.

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Whittle & Partners is a consulting group that provides EOS™ Implementation in the United States and beyond. We offer in-person and online solutions to fit your business and schedule.Visit our about us page to learn how and why we love bringing Dallas Traction.

Jeff Whittle is a Certified Dallas EOS Implementer.

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